2nd May 2013, my granddad passed away. It wasn't a surprise, he'd been poorly for a long time but I was gutted. 2nd May I went to the gym, everything in my head was screaming "go home" but I wanted to be in the gym (where is Helen and what have you done with her?).
I went on the treadmill for my warm up (back when Jason would let me use the treadmill for a warm up!) and I ran. I ran hard, fast (well for me, I don't think Usain Bolt has anything to worry about yet!) and I ran longer than I've ever run, 6 minutes (continuously!).
6 minutes sounds laughable. Anyone can run for 6 minutes right? Well yes in theory you can run for 6 minutes if you have the right mental attitude but I never had. I'd always told myself I don't run, I can't run, that age old joke of "I'll only run for an ice cream van". I can't pinpoint why I felt like this. Possibly not wanting to get out of breath, yes that is right people, exercise makes you out of breath, it makes you sweaty and sometimes it even makes you feel like you are going to vomit. Sometimes when you exercise you question "what the bloody hell am I doing? Can't I just go home and sit on the sofa with a bag of minstrels watching the soaps? Surely that is more enjoyable" BUT the one thing I have noticed is that doesn't even come close to the rush of endorphins you get after you have pushed yourself whilst exercising. I'd always thought that when people talked about exercise and endorphins it was bullshit. "Oh no, exercise wouldn't make me feel so good, I'd much rather have a nice meal with lots of carbs!" But honestly, it really is true, exercise makes you happy!
Sometimes I feel down after a session at the gym. It has taken me a while to realise I feel down when, for whatever reason (usually dizziness), I haven't pushed myself as much as I potentially can or as much as I want. Maybe when I hold back it doesn't quite give me the same rush? I'm no scientist but that is my guess. The rush for me, I think, comes from trying something I thought I couldn't do. Doing a sumo deadlift with 2 x 20kg Kettle Bells, using the squat rack with the really heavy bar with all the big hairy men around me (that is another post in itself!), running for 6 minutes on the treadmill. These are all things that physically but more importantly, mentally I couldn't have done 7 months ago. I bloody can now though! (with a bit of whinging and strange face pulling ;) )
So this week when Jason suggested I should give running a go, I didn't think "f**k off I don't run", I thought yeah, maybe. I'm not entirely sure how to run outside (sounds daft!) I need to psyche myself up to it but before Christmas I am going to give running outside a go.
H x
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