I'm not a fussy eater, I'll eat anything...

The one thing I get asked about more than anything else is about what food I am eating. I guess people are looking for that quick fix. I think they are half hoping i'll either say I'm still eating whatever I want and the gym is cancelling it out or that I'm following some crazy points/food combining plan that is easy.

NEWSFLASH:

http://kiaracatanzaro.files.wordpress.com/2013/07/you-cant-out-exercise-a-bad-diet.jpg

2nd NEWSFLASH:

You have to put in the effort with nutrition.

There it is. Pure and simple. You eat crap, no amount of exercise will save you! How do I know this? Take a look at this graph:

The first initial drop in that first month or so, was me going it alone. The Sainsbury's diet + a bit of swimming at the Metrodome. I was pretty pleased but then there is a plateau, with a little drop. That is when I started working with Jason but still ate crap. The really significant steep drop is once Jason managed to get me on to a proper nutrition plan.

Why did it take so long to get me on that plan? Why didn't he put me on that plan straight away? Well I don't know, you'd have to ask him that BUT if I was to take a stab in the dark I think he knew upping my fitness AND changing my eating habits would have been too much all at once. I would have struggled to to process both at once. Exercise and fitness was (and still is!) a new thing for me. I probably needed the comfort of the food, I needed to get in to the habit and routine of exercising regularly, I couldn't have done that whilst focussing on nutrition as well. It would have been too hard, I'd have probably struggled to do both. Like I say, you'd have to ask him, but that is my guess.

So in June Jason announced the nutrition plan. It centred around "eating clean". To be honest eating cleaning is everything we're already told to do, there is nothing magical about it. No points, no food combining, keeping everything fresh and unprocessed. Vegetables, fruit, legumes (also known as beans, lentils and other hippy shit!) fresh, lean meat, fish, poultry. Nuts, seeds. No processed/refined carbs. No sugar, limited dairy (Greek yoghurt etc) and water (no alcohol, contrary to popular rumour I did NOT have an issue with this! )And that's it. 

He gave me a menu for a week. My eye was instantly drawn to the final day, where it said "go wild!" Not gonna lie, that looked like the best meal of the week. My eye was also drawn to 'Pinto Beans' WTAF is a Pinto Bean anyway? (it is now a standing joke in the office at work that I know all there is to know about Pinto Beans and several staff have bought them since!)

But here was the issue. I always thought I wasn't a fussy eater. Turns out I am REALLY fussy! I started to reel off to Jason all the things I couldn't/wouldn't eat (yoghurt, fish, mushrooms, tomatoes). Jason was actually quite firm about this though, I had to try things! I promised I would give things a go, but fish was non-negotiable, "I don't do fish".

"I'm going to a conference Tuesday, I won't be able to do it then" I bleated. "Just take the food with you!" Jason replied.

So I went home and stuffed my face with a huge takeaway (Pizza if I recall), the last supper.

And then it started, the most diabolical food week of my life. The first day I was gipping over my breakfast (raw tomatoes are STILL a huge issue for me, they literally make me vomit!), I had lentils for lunch (they tasted like shit!). By 2pm I was miserable. I sent Jason a lot of texts with questions, questions that were probably very obvious and sounded daft "Can I do this, can I do that, do I have to eat this?" At about 3pm he texted back and said I could use garlic and chillies! (turns out they are good for you!) I'm not going to lie, I actually cried in Meadowhall!

The biggest issue I was having was not the meat or the vegetables etc (I LOVE veg!) but the lack of sauces, spices, flavours! Suddenly I was having to work hard to flavour my food naturally. I've never bought so many chillies and fresh herbs. (Top tip, put your herbs in the freezer, then snip them with scissors in to your dishes, they keep much longer!)

For the first 5 days the food tasted vile. Bland, boring, unappealing. (Yes I did take my lentils and chicken and veg to the conference in tupperware!) Then after a while things started to happen to my pallet. I started to taste things for what they were. Scrambled egg, actually has a slight salty taste to it. If you just scramble 2 plain eggs I swear it has that slight flavour. Why on earth have I been adding salt to my food?? It doesn't need it. 

As I got to day 6 I texted Jason about what 'Go wild day" entailed, he'd been a bit vague. The response I got was not what I wanted "Skip it, do another week" Oh my god, could I seriously do this for another week? Let alone long term? "Don't worry, this isn't a long term plan, it is just to get things started then we can start adding things in" he replied. "Thank f**k for that!" I thought.

So I did another week.  I got through it. I had a treat meal at the end of the 2 weeks, I can't remember what it was, pizza I think but it made me feel vile! Bleurgh! 2 weeks of eating clean and suddenly all that fat was not a good thing.  I also had a toffee crisp, this made me irrationally happy!

And then we really got started. Gradually Jason allowed me to add things. Rice, once or twice a week. Peanut butter on wholegrain toast, I'd never had peanut butter before (except in Ben and Jerrys and I don't think that counts!) I was amazed at how salty it tasted after a couple of weeks of no salt. 

Over the next few weeks Jason gave me 1 or 2 recipes to try and as I developed my confidence and love of cooking again, I began to experiment. Colleagues began to send me recipes too. (I make a divine chicken and lentil curry! I'll post it later.) I've got the principles of eating clean, I know what to do, I can adapt recipes I find and make them cleaner (Yummly is a great source of recipes too!)

I've tried tomatoes, mushrooms, yoghurt and fish! Yep thats right we've had tuna steak, salmon steak and mackerel. Tuna is pretty good, Salmon I can just about do. Not gonna lie, mackerel was hard work but I did it and I ate it. Mushrooms I am fine with now. Raw tomatoes and greek yoghurt are not cool. Anything that has me yacking in to the kitchen sink is not good. 

I've started eating berries (strawberries, blueberries, raspberries) and nuts and seeds. Quinoa has been a revelation! First time I cooked it, it was like Frog Spawn! But I have found a recipe that I love. (I'll post it soon!)

I am trying foods I've always dismissed before and even a lot of new things. I am quite embarrassed at how narrow my pallet was before! 

Recently I've started looking more at the Paleo (Caveman!) way of eating but that is a post for another day.

That said, I don't always get it right. I would love to say every meal is fantastic and I never slip up, but look at the graph above, anyone can see that isn't true! The last 5/6 weeks I've been shocking. Too many treats, too many takeaways. I can pinpoint why, STRESS! When I feel under pressure I eat crap. The next few weeks are going to be about breaking that cycle. I need to break it and fast. No point shelling out for personal training if I am sabotaging my efforts with poor nutrition. However, I also need to be realistic, there will be times I slip, but I need to make sure this is not as frequent as it has been the last few weeks.

So there we have it, "Eat Clean". It isn't rocket science, in essence it is easy, but it does need willpower, especially in those first few weeks.

H x

I don't do running...

2nd May 2013, my granddad passed away. It wasn't a surprise, he'd been poorly for a long time but I was gutted. 2nd May I went to the gym, everything in my head was screaming "go home" but I wanted to be in the gym (where is Helen and what have you done with her?).

I went on the treadmill for my warm up (back when Jason would let me use the treadmill for a warm up!) and I ran. I ran hard, fast (well for me, I don't think Usain Bolt has anything to worry about yet!) and I ran longer than I've ever run, 6 minutes (continuously!).

6 minutes sounds laughable. Anyone can run for 6 minutes right? Well yes in theory you can run for 6 minutes if you have the right mental attitude but I never had. I'd always told myself I don't run, I can't run, that age old joke of "I'll only run for an ice cream van". I can't pinpoint why I felt like this. Possibly not wanting to get out of breath, yes that is right people, exercise makes you out of breath, it makes you sweaty and sometimes it even makes you feel like you are going to vomit. Sometimes when you exercise you question "what the bloody hell am I doing? Can't I just go home and sit on the sofa with a bag of minstrels watching the soaps? Surely that is more enjoyable" BUT the one thing I have noticed is that doesn't even come close to the rush of endorphins you get after you have pushed yourself whilst exercising. I'd always thought that when people talked about exercise and endorphins it was bullshit. "Oh no, exercise wouldn't make me feel so good, I'd much rather have a nice meal with lots of carbs!" But honestly, it really is true, exercise makes you happy!

Sometimes I feel down after a session at the gym. It has taken me a while to realise I feel down when, for whatever reason (usually dizziness), I haven't pushed myself as much as I potentially can or as much as I want. Maybe when I hold back it doesn't quite give me the same rush? I'm no scientist but that is my guess. The rush for me, I think, comes from trying something I thought I couldn't do. Doing a sumo deadlift with 2 x 20kg Kettle Bells, using the squat rack with the really heavy bar with all the big hairy men around me (that is another post in itself!), running for 6 minutes on the treadmill. These are all things that physically but more importantly, mentally I couldn't have done 7 months ago. I bloody can now though! (with a bit of whinging and strange face pulling ;) )

So this week when Jason suggested I should give running a go, I didn't think "f**k off I don't run", I thought yeah, maybe.  I'm not entirely sure how to run outside (sounds daft!) I need to psyche myself up to it but before Christmas I am going to give running outside a go.

H x

I'm on a journey...

Warning, this will be a long post. But it needs to be to get you to understand WHY I am at the point I am.

At the risk of sounding like an Xfactor contestant, I'm on a journey. If you want to understand my journey I should probably start at the beginning.

Since I was about 10 or so I have been plump, heavy, chunky, fat. Whatever you want to describe it as. I've spent a LOT of time thinking about why. When I was younger I was bullied, was that the start of it? I lacked confidence and HATED sport/PE, could that be the reason? I LOVE food and eating. I love the social aspect of eating, I adore going out for meals and chatting etc whilst eating yummy food, is this why? Stress. When I am stressed I eat, and I eat crap, can I blame that?

If I am honest, it is probably a combination of things, I could blame the bullies, I could blame the PE staff at school, I could blame my job and the stress I am under etc but the fact is only I can be responsible for the food I consume and the exercise I do/don't do. This, for me has been a big hurdle, this year I have stopped blaming others, I've stopped blaming myself and I am now focussing on what I am going to do about it.

I've tried numerous things to sort my weight out. Weight watchers, I tried this with some success while I was at University. I followed the points plan, cycled to uni every day. I dropped about 3 stone, I was 10 & 1/2 stone and the slimmest I'd ever been, but it wasn't sustainable. I got bored of counting points.

When I studied for my PGCE I was living in a crumby bedsit in Swindon. I ate A LOT of takeaways. Focussing on getting my head round planning, marking, completing assignments etc Food was the least of my worries and with a big fat bursary to spend, takeaways & convenience were the easy option.

As I began teaching my weight crept up. When I got married in 2004 I was around 12 stone. I didn't look horrific but I didn't look great either, I was never 100% happy with how I looked on my wedding day.

I've tried slimming world. Food combining isn't for me. I found it too time consuming. I am not sure eating shed loads of carbs 1 day and shed loads of protein the next is entirely ideal. I lost a minimal amount, but couldn't sustain it.

The weight carried on creeping up. When I got pregnant in 2009 I was 14st 3lb. The heaviest I'd ever been. I still didn't think I looked THAT bad. I resolved I'd sort it after I had the baby. Weirdly I didn't put that much on whilst pregnant (morning sickness was brill for weight loss, although not a technique I would advocate!!). 3 weeks after Imogen was born I was 14st 9lb. I had this big idea that I'd walk everywhere with Imogen and the weight would fall off. Well a Csection knackered my ability to walk for a good 6 weeks and then once all the fuss and visitors died down I spiralled in to comfort eating. Knowing what I know now, I'd say I was probably borderline depressed. A beautiful new baby but without family local to help out and all my friends in Barnsley are teachers and were at work I was bored and struggled with the adjustment from teacher to mummy. I'd sit and watch endless episodes of London's burning and eat all manner of crap. I'm quite ashamed of what I was eating. (chocolate, cakes, crisps, samosas(!), toaster pockets (which now I think about it are rank! but I loved them!). Christopher would come home and we'd eat crap convenience food.

I started going to Zumba with my lovely PE teacher friend (who'd have thought I'd be friends with a PE teacher!). Zumba was fun. It got me out the house (I needed that!) I have zero coordination so it was a laugh. The instructor (Janice Starkey) was fab. Didn't make me feel stupid, encouraging, motivational and full of energy. If you are in the Barnsley are then try one of her classes, she is ace!

And then I went back to work. Full time teaching, demanding toddler, stress levels through the roof. We had a lot of illness when I first went back to work. I felt under immense pressure (even though work were very understanding!) We became on first name terms with our local chip shop owner and Just-Eat.co.uk was in my favourites list.

December 2011 I tried hypnotherapy. My granddad had success with hypnotherapy back in the 80s when he quit smoking. Gastric Band Hypnotherapy with a lovely lady called Joyce. A bit freaky being "put under" in her conservatory. I convinced myself for 2 weeks that it was working. (it wasn't!) but the time relaxing was lovely, although I am pretty sure I was just snoozing for an hour in her conservatory. (I hope I wasn't snoring and dribbling!) The one thing it did help with was to focus on WHY I was overeating and not exercising.

But the pressure of my school being merged, having to reapply for my job etc I had zero motivation to sort myself out.

Then in January 2013, something clicked. I couldn't tell you what clicked. There is no one thing that made me think "right, lets do this".

But I bought some Withings scales. These scales are AWESOME. Expensive but brilliant. Wifi enabled scales that sync your weight to your phone. I can see my stats any time, any place, any where. (You can have multiple people on there too, so I track Imogen's weight). I love them. I signed up to Sainsburys online diets. I was following their convenience food plan. Every week I logged on and they gave me meal plans incorporating ready meals and low fat convenience foods. It suited me at the time. I also started swimming at my local leisure centre. 3 times a week. It was a bit of a chore. I love swimming but the pool was busy, the changing rooms weren't the cleanest and there was no chuffing hairdryer, so I had to dry my hair under a hand dryer (couldn't go to work with wet hair!). And I did ok, I lost a stone all by myself, I felt good. But I needed something more. The pool was pissing me off.

After a few weeks thinking, I decided to join the gym. £38 a month, I thought I could just about afford it. I figured if I went 3 times a week I'd break even on going to the leisure centre. I fully intended to just swim. I wasn't bothered about the weights and scary looking machines. "Would you like a free personal training session?" the receptionist asked. "Not really!" I thought but why not, it is free, they might show me a few scary machines.

And that is when it started.

I turned up in my baggy tshirt and joggers that I'd bought when I was pregnant, and wearing glasses (NB: wearing glasses in the gym is no good, they fall off when you're doing stuff!). I met my trainer, Jason Horton. (If you are in the market for a personal trainer then I seriously recommend you visit Jason's personal training website!)

www.jforcefitness.com

Jason looked young enough that I could have taught him. "sucker this hour then go back to swimming" I told myself. He asked me what I wanted from the sessions (er hello, I'm just doing this 1 free session thanks!). "Weight loss" (isn't that obvious?) "Tone up, I guess?"

We did some warm up type stuff, I can't even really remember what now. I know he made me run on the treadmill, I DON'T do running, EVER. I remember it was hard. I was hot, sweaty, puffed out and feeling a bit shit. I think he made me try the rower, that made my thighs hurt. We did a very simple circuit. It felt horrific.

Afterwards, he sat me down. "How much will it cost?" I asked? (er, hang on, you aren't supposed to be signing up!) We went through the costs. "I don't know, I'll talk it through with my husband" (as if I will be signing up, can I get home in time for Corrie?) "Here is my email and mobile number, ask me questions if you want to know more" he said.

And that was the start. I went home and talked numbers with Christopher ("WTF, why am I even considering this?", I thought.) I emailed, Jason with a question, can't even remember what. "I'll sign up for 4 sessions, no more" I said to Christopher.

That was 7 months ago. I see Jason once a week. He takes me through different circuits. Each week is different, each week is bloody hard. The biggest change in me has been mentally. I find myself saying "keep going" rather than "I can't".  Jason has the patience of an actual saint. He seems to get when to push me, when to ignore my protestations and when to listen to them. He doesn't bark orders, he encourages. Just what a total wimp like me needs!

I sweat, A LOT! I whinge, A LOT (although slightly less than I used to!). I swear, FAR TOO MUCH. BUT it has become habit. I am moody when I don't go. I love it. I NEVER thought I would. I do things now I COULDN'T do (both physically and mentally) 7 months ago.

Back in June, Jason started me on a nutrition plan. The first few weeks were HORRIFIC and that is a post for another day. But the combination of good food (mostly!) and regular, fat burning exercise and the weight has dropped off. It isn't easy. But it is easier than I thought it would be but there are days when I think with the food I CBA. But not with the exercise, I love it. Who'd have thought it!

The biggest difference is, whilst I have a goal in terms of weight, I am so caught up in the health, fitness and nutrition I don't see an end to it, hopefully this is sustainable where Weight Watchers and Slimming World weren't.

So that is where I am up to now.

H x

New blog

Well people have been asking me for a while to start blogging again. I was a bit reticent to blog, blogging is like having a new relationship, it requires a fair bit of attention. That said I have a lot of thoughts that are probably best in one place rather the clogging up my Facebook and Twitter feeds. So here I am. Also, I will start to collate all the yummy recipes I have found as I know this seems to be one of the things that interests people the most.

I guess the next post needs to be about where I have come from and why I have started on this journey, what is motivating me and where I "think" I am heading.

H x