Try something different...

My name is Helen and I'm a chocoholic ! 

Since I've started on this complete lifestyle overhaul I have tried lots of new foods. Some more successfully than others. 

Successful:

Avocado

Tuna steaks

Sweet potato 

Strawberries

Peanut Butter

Quinoa 

Pine nuts

Honey

Unsuccessful:

Raw tomatoes

Greek yoghurt

Actually that's not bad at all really. 

I have definitely broadened my pallet and my repertoire of recipes. I cook pretty much everything from scratch (except the occasional treat meal!)

But the one thing I struggle with is not eating chocolate. Don't get me wrong I have cut down a hell of a lot, it has been known in the past for me to eat 3 chocolate bars in one day (!) now I'm on about 1 a week. 

I've had a very long conversation with a good friend at work who tells me if you cut out all the refined sugars like chocolate your pallet changes and you almost learn to love natural flavours again. For sure I find fruit especially now tastes sweeter but I still have the dirty habit once a week. 

The other thing I miss is chocolate flavoured items, cakes, biscuits etc. so imagine my delight when I found a recipe for paleo chocolate torte. 

http://ohsheglows.com/2011/06/03/chilled-double-chocolate-torte-the-no-bake-version/

A nutty base made with pecans, maple syrup, coconut oil and cocoa powder. Then topped with a chocolate mouse made with chocolate chips (a treat!) Cocoa powder, maple syrup and avocado. Yes that is right, avocado!

This torte is rich, chocolatey and delicious. It tastes indulgent. Who'd have thought avocado could taste so good?!

I've road tested this on my parents and Christopher and I think they were shocked at how amazing this torte tastes. Not going to lie, even I was surprised. 

Avocado and chocolate sounds rank but it honestly works! 

This time last year I'd never eaten an avocado. 

So all I can say is, go on, try something different. You might be surprised!

H x

Big hairy men and the big scary weights area...

The gym I go to is divided in to key areas:

• The reception area with a turnstile that never seems to work for me so I have to get the receptionist to open it
• The cafe area which I try and avoid at all costs otherwise I'd be ramming buttered crumpets in my mouth
• The studio where the spin classes take place. Spinning looks horrific. I know some people love it, but it looks tedious and pressurised, I'm not keen on group exercise!
• The changing rooms, I could write a whole essay about what goes on in the changing rooms but I'll save that for another day
• There is the pool, jacuzzi and steam room. When I first started I thought this would be my focus, I rarely use them at the minute, just due to time (I've either got to get to work or get home to put Immie to bed) I need to get back to using them to relax.
• Upstairs is another studio where I've done some very focussed circuits with Jason, I like doing that very focussed work. I find I am easily distracted, if the tannoy goes off in the main gym for example I loose focus. Fortunately Jason has a reasonable playlist on his iPhone so I can cope with not having other people about.
• Finally there is the main gym. This is where I spend most of my time. I'd say it is divided in to 3. Machines which I don't really use, a floor area and the big scary weights area that is frequented by big hairy menfolk.

Now I predominantly spend my time working on the floor area, kettlebells, TRX, burpees, situps that kind of thing. But more recently we have been doing a little bit of work in the scary weights area.

I find this area the most intimidating area of the gym. I STILL if I'm honest feel a little bit of an imposter. I turn up with my untoned stomach and fat arse (well slightly less fat that it used to be). Every time Jason says "lets go and use the squat rack" I'm not gonna lie I feel very nervous. I convince myself that the big hairy menfolk are questioning what I am doing there and why on earth I'd even be attempting to lift anything. This is of course total nonsense! As I know from my own experience, people pay very little attention to others in the gym, so why would they be bothered about me!? They will be more bothered about their own workout or poncing about showboating!

The other thing I worry about is doing it wrong. Jason assures me I can lift better than a significant number of the big hairy men. I am not sure. I lack confidence in most things I do in the gym but especially in lifting things. I'm never quite sure I'm going it right. I try to remember what I am told. Boobs out, bum out, hip hinge, don't bend at the knees, but it all still feels a bit unnatural. I'll get there, I know I will. I want to do it right. Weirdly I want to see what I truly can do, what am I actually capable not just what I "think" I am capable of. Again, another thing I wasn't expecting from having a personal trainer.

Finally the one thing that makes giggle is the moaning, groaning and grunting that happens in the big scary weights area. This is one area I seem to excel in! Maybe I do fit in after all!

H x

"Miss you look really tired, get more sleep!"

It is well documented that I am feeling the pressure of being a full time working mummy, wife, gym addict.

So imagine my delight when my tutor group at school today said "Miss you look really pale, drained washed out and tired. You need more sleep!" Er yeah thanks kids, what you actually mean is I look like s**t.

There seems to be a hell of a lot going on at the moment and I am tired, really tired. I know I need more sleep. But it just isn't happening. By the time I finish marking, planning etc it is often 11pm, 12am, sometimes 1 - 2am!!! I just crawl in to bed and Christopher is snoring or Immie wakes up, it takes me ages to wind down. If I drop off within an hour it is a good night!

Jason mentioned yesterday that I need more sleep and not just more sleep but regular sleep. Apparently lack of sleep raises cortisol levels which in turn can help contribute to weight gain.

Perfect. Just perfect. Not only is food an issue now sleep too?

Don't get me wrong I'd love to go to bed at 9.30pm but I need to get the work done. Before Immie I would have done the work during the day at weekends, but it just doesn't happen. She is in nursery all week, weekends are her time. But the workload is still the same, so the only way to make it work is to work in the evenings.

I can't envisage this getting any better for about 10 years! UGH

I need to work out how to work smarter so I can get more sleep or I'll never get anywhere!

Right best go do some marking :(

H x

Boobs out, bum out...

That got your attention!

It probably doesn't come as a massive surprise that I am not a natural athlete. Physical exercise does not come easily to me. Movements feel, at least until I get used to them, stiff and awkward.  It is probably why if I go out in town, dancing feels unnatural! My sense of balance is pretty terrible too. I'm getting better but it is tricky.

The biggest problem I have though is, that as an intelligent (well fairly intelligent) woman, I understand what I need to do BUT something just compute!

Take today. Today Jason has had me doing barbell deadlifts. Deadlifts are a move I am not unfamiliar with but I have mainly been working on a deadlift with kettlebells. A barbell is slightly different, arms on the outside of your legs instead of the inside seems to be the main difference. I watched Jason perform the lift, processing what I needed to do.

I obviously look as glam as this when I workout!

"Bend at the hips, use that hip hinge movement, don't bend at the knees" he said. "Ok, lets give this a go." What do I do first? Bend at the chuffin knees!

We had a few runs through, Jason talked me through it and demo'd it several times. I totally understood what he wanted me to do, but then something happens. It's like my body won't do what I need to do! It takes all my concentration and it feels like a million things I need to remember.

Essentially it is shoulders back, boobs out, bum out. (it actually is a little obscene really, especially if I bump in to ex-pupils in the gym!) But something just doesn't click, it's like my bum and boobs don't want to cooperate!

I know i'll get there and it will just take a bit of practice. It is just frustrating. It's not that I don't understand, it's just I can't translate that in to a physical movement LOL

H x

Nobody can do it for you...

I don't know what is wrong with me at the moment.

Exercise is no longer the issue (never thought I'd ever say that!) but food is. I have the breaking strain of a kit kat when it comes to food at the moment.

From June till September I did really well with my nutrition. I massively changed my lifestyle, I was eating clean, eating healthy. Since mid September I have struggled, struggled big time. No matter how much I plan for eating clean, I seem to slip on an almost daily basis. Breakfasts, Lunches and Dinners are generally fine. It's snacks. I am hungry ALL the damn time.

Before anyone asks the question I am eating enough in my main meals. I know what I should snack on (berries, nuts, seeds, fruit etc) but assuming I can be arsed, they just don't hit the spot. I'm finding cakes, biscuits and chocolate are what I am wanting. Now fortunately because the rest of my eating is fine, I'm not massively sabotaging my weight loss (I'm stuck at around 12st 3) but I know the sugary, fatty snacks are not nutritious or good for me nor do they fill me up long term.

I just feel really weak willed atm. Now I could blame the stress of work, being tired, not having time etc Simple fact is they are all excuses, only I can be responsible for what I eat. I need to gain back some of the resilience I had earlier in the year.

Interestingly this ridiculous lack of willpower, also coincides with a massive dip in my confidence. I find myself feeling sad and teary. I suspect there is a link. But I know long term this way of eating doesn't make me happy, so why the bloody hell do I keep doing it???

I am at a loss as to how to kick start myself again, I need a bloody big kick up the arse, before I start to really wreck all my hard work. Nobody is going to do it for me, only I can solve this little problem.

H x

Food cravings

When I was pregnant with Imogen I didn't crave much in particular. Potatoes was a very early craving (mashed, roasted, fried, baked, chips, crisps etc) and then I had a week of craving chocolate covered Brazil nuts. But I got away quite lightly.

But the first few days of eating clean provide me with the most terrible cravings ever. Having had a rather large blip food wise I am trying to refocus again. I know if I can get past the first 5 days it gets easier. But oh my days, the cravings are hard work today.

Today I have been craving (in no particular order)

• sausages
• potatoes
• cheese
• chocolate
• pizza
• chips
• kebabs
• burgers
• bacon
• diet coke
• Yorkshire puddings
• gravy
• biscuits
• crisps
• garlic bread
• hot buttered crumpets
• hot buttered potato cakes
• buttered scotch pancakes
• chocolate spread on toast.
• baked beans

Trying to snack on nuts, seeds, berries, fruit. All fine in their own right but trying to re-educate my brain and taste buds again.  It is going to take a few days to settle, I just need to stay strong.

H x

One day it will be my warm up!

It is amazing, Friday I undertook the toughest PT session so far, it hurt mentally and physically. Friday night I was having a massive confidence dip.

Today I have woken up itching to go to the gym, because I pushed myself further than I have done before on Friday (with a bit of shoving from Jason!) I feel like when I go in today I'll be able to tackle anything, it is a very motivational feeling!

So it got me thinking. On Friday one of the things that made me freak out the most (aside from the burpees!) was the step ups with 2 x 16kg kettlebells. There was a lot of huffing, puffing, groaning, moaning and swearing. I find step ups really hard. Not sure why, apart from my fitness levels, I always feel like I am about to deck it at any moment. But on Friday I did 20 step ups (10 per leg) in each circuit.

I remember a time about 7 months ago when my circuits included step ups with a medicine ball, (not sure how heavy but definitely not as heavy as the 2 blue kettlebells I am using now). I could only managed 3 or 4 without having to stop/pause. After a week or so we had to ditch the step ups (and lunges) because my knees were in tatters. Aside from the fact my general fitness levels were not great,  I was that overweight my knees couldn't cope with the strain.

It's taken a while but I am now at a point where I can do step ups and lunges without my knees being affected.

My fitness levels are a million times better than they were in April/May. I reckon if I tried the original step ups now with a medicine ball, I'd have no problems, infact I won't try them as they wouldn't push me now!

Christopher has noticed too. Last week we took Imogen for a walk in the woods, inevitably half way round she wanted carrying, Christopher carried her for a bit, but was moaning his back hurt. So I put Immie on my shoulders and powered up the big hill, not stopping.

Last year I wouldn't have been able to carry her up the hill, infact me just walking on my own I would get out of breath and had to stop to rest several times whilst walking up the hill! Now I can do it with no stopping carrying a nearly 16kg 3 year old (thats just a bit more than a powerbag!) It is little every day observations of differences to my fitness that I love.

So I just wonder at what point I'll ever get to a point where burpees are just nothing to me? ;)

H x