Big hairy men and the big scary weights area...

The gym I go to is divided in to key areas:

• The reception area with a turnstile that never seems to work for me so I have to get the receptionist to open it
• The cafe area which I try and avoid at all costs otherwise I'd be ramming buttered crumpets in my mouth
• The studio where the spin classes take place. Spinning looks horrific. I know some people love it, but it looks tedious and pressurised, I'm not keen on group exercise!
• The changing rooms, I could write a whole essay about what goes on in the changing rooms but I'll save that for another day
• There is the pool, jacuzzi and steam room. When I first started I thought this would be my focus, I rarely use them at the minute, just due to time (I've either got to get to work or get home to put Immie to bed) I need to get back to using them to relax.
• Upstairs is another studio where I've done some very focussed circuits with Jason, I like doing that very focussed work. I find I am easily distracted, if the tannoy goes off in the main gym for example I loose focus. Fortunately Jason has a reasonable playlist on his iPhone so I can cope with not having other people about.
• Finally there is the main gym. This is where I spend most of my time. I'd say it is divided in to 3. Machines which I don't really use, a floor area and the big scary weights area that is frequented by big hairy menfolk.

Now I predominantly spend my time working on the floor area, kettlebells, TRX, burpees, situps that kind of thing. But more recently we have been doing a little bit of work in the scary weights area.

I find this area the most intimidating area of the gym. I STILL if I'm honest feel a little bit of an imposter. I turn up with my untoned stomach and fat arse (well slightly less fat that it used to be). Every time Jason says "lets go and use the squat rack" I'm not gonna lie I feel very nervous. I convince myself that the big hairy menfolk are questioning what I am doing there and why on earth I'd even be attempting to lift anything. This is of course total nonsense! As I know from my own experience, people pay very little attention to others in the gym, so why would they be bothered about me!? They will be more bothered about their own workout or poncing about showboating!

The other thing I worry about is doing it wrong. Jason assures me I can lift better than a significant number of the big hairy men. I am not sure. I lack confidence in most things I do in the gym but especially in lifting things. I'm never quite sure I'm going it right. I try to remember what I am told. Boobs out, bum out, hip hinge, don't bend at the knees, but it all still feels a bit unnatural. I'll get there, I know I will. I want to do it right. Weirdly I want to see what I truly can do, what am I actually capable not just what I "think" I am capable of. Again, another thing I wasn't expecting from having a personal trainer.

Finally the one thing that makes giggle is the moaning, groaning and grunting that happens in the big scary weights area. This is one area I seem to excel in! Maybe I do fit in after all!

H x